


Get in the Barking Bath!

by shocked_into_shame



Series: The Adventures of Billy, Steve, & Lars [6]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Bath Time, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, i dunno what happened with this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 01:31:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18355850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shocked_into_shame/pseuds/shocked_into_shame
Summary: Lars gets all muddy, Steve's parents house gets all muddy, and it's time to give the dog a bath.Which is interesting, to say the least.





	Get in the Barking Bath!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Eledhwen333 for the idea of them giving Lars a bath, and to captainwingdings for the fic title and for sending me a video of a husky having a temper tantrum in a bathtub 
> 
> this one got away from me a little but i like it 
> 
> enjoy

For almost the entirety of the night, Steve hears the wind and the rain of a summer storm rattle his window, happy to be here safe in Billy’s arms, nestled away in his bedroom, instead of outside in the elements. And eventually the rain dies down, allowing him to finally drift to sleep in the early hours of the morning. He had looked at Billy’s sleeping, peaceful form enviously for most of the night. 

 

But now, in the late morning sun, he wakes up to see Billy wide awake, sitting at the foot of the bed ominously. “What’s going on, babe?” he grumbles, rubbing at his eyes furiously. 

 

“You’re not going to be happy.” 

 

Steve sits up in bed and squints at Billy. “What is going on?”

 

“You know how it rained a whole bunch last night?” Billy starts, gritting his teeth. “Well Lars needed to go out this morning, so I let him out in your yard. And when there’s rain…”

 

Steve’s eyes widen and he immediately hops out of bed. “There’s fucking mud! Please don’t tell me there is mud all over my mother’s white rug. Please.”

 

“There’s no mud all over your mother’s rug.”

 

He breathes a sigh of relief. 

 

“The couch, however…” 

 

Steve wants to strangle him. The worst thing, he finds, is not the couch, but the dog himself, his normally pure white fur covered in mud, mud on his face and his paws. He pants and wags his tail happily when he sees Steve emerge from upstairs, as though he has no idea the absolute havoc that the mud has wreaked on his coat. 

 

“Holy shit,” Steve exclaims, and Billy looks like he’s trying desperately not to laugh. “We have to wash the dog!” 

 

“Okay, baby, how do you want to -” 

 

“PICK THE DOG UP AND TAKE HIM TO THE BATHTUB!” Billy just blinks at him. “NOW! GO NOW BEFORE IT GETS EVEN MORE STUCK IN HIS FUR!” 

 

Billy’s eyes widen and he rushes to pick Lars up, scooping him up and heaving him half over his shoulder. “Jesus, what have we been feeding this dog? I think he’s heavier than he was when I got him.” 

 

“Less talking, more carrying!” Steve demands, following Billy up the stairs. Once they make it to the bathroom Billy deposits Lars in the bathtub and Steve shuts the door behind them. 

 

Steve rushes to turn the water on, which spooks Lars, and he hops out of the bathtub instantly, starts howling at the top of his lungs. Steve sits cross legged, letting Billy take the reins on this one. It’s his fault, after all, for letting the dog run around in the yard. “Okay, boy,” Billy coos, and puts him back in the bathtub. “You gotta get clean, okay?”

 

Lars  _ awoos _ in response, until his howl breaks off into an angry grumble. He hops out of the bathtub again. 

 

“No, boy,” Billy says gently, and puts him back in again. The water has started to fill, so Lars’ paws get wet and he seems very confused until he realizes this is  _ water _ , which is a thing he likes, so he starts panting and wagging his tail. 

 

Steve watches in amusement as Billy splashes water on the dog in his tub. He reaches for a bottle of shampoo. Steve howls, “Not my mom’s European shampoo, Billy! Use the fucking Salon Selectives!” 

 

Billy rolls his eyes and puts the nice stuff back, grabbing the  _ Salon Selectives _ . He squirts the shampoo out onto Lars, rubbing it into his white fur, trying desperately to get rid of all the mud. Lars looks hilarious, fluffy fur all matted down, and Steve laughs. The dog is apparently excited to see Steve happy and smiling, because he hops out of the tub  _ yet again _ , only this time he’s soaking wet and covered in Salon Selectives. Steve ends up with a lapful of wet, soapy, still a bit muddy dog, and shampoo goes all over the bathroom tiles. 

 

“Hey, get back here,” Billy commands. Lars ambles over back to Billy and the tub, his paws slipping and sliding on the floor. Billy grabs him to keep him from falling over, covering himself in shampoo in the process, and then tries to wrangle him back into the tub.

 

“Okay, just a second, okay? Let me rinse this,” Billy commands sternly, and Lars howls in protest. 

 

Once he seems to be all clean, and Steve’s laughter has finally died down, they grab a big, fluffy towel and try to wrap Lars in it. Of course, he doesn’t like this idea, and hops out yet again, this time shaking his whole body, sending tiny droplets of water all over the bathroom. It looks like a fucking warzone, and between this and the muddy downstairs, Steve laments the rest of their only mutual day off, knows it’s going to be spent cleaning all of this shit up. 

 

Billy manages to wrestle the towel around Lars and rubs at him furiously. Lars kisses Billy’s face, and Billy looks over at Steve with wide eyes. “Holy shit, baby, the bathroom is a fucking mess.” 

 

Lars bark happily in answer. Steve crosses his arms and squints at the dog, mock angry. “This is all your fault, Lars,” he coos, using his best Billy-talking-to-the-dog voice. “You’re a very very bad boy,” he adds, still using the baby voice. Lars’ tail wags but he cocks his head, confused. His one floppy ear shakes with the movement. 

 

“Steve! You can’t say mean things to him in a baby voice! You’re gonna give him a fucking complex.”

 

“You’re right. That’s not fair. It’s not his fault,” Steve explains, leaning over to pat Billy on the head patronizingly. “You’re the one who is at fault here, babe. And you’re the one cleaning the house.” 

 

Billy moves to protest. Steve gives him  _ a look _ and he backs down, muttering under his breath as he continues to dry off the dog. 

* * *

The house gets cleaned rather quickly, especially after Steve caves and helps Billy out. Lars is happily sitting on the couch, wrapped up in his towel. Steve wishes he had a camera, just to get a picture.

 

Later, sitting together and watching  _ Alien _ for what feels like the thirteenth billion time, Billy heaves out a sigh. “I should probably take the dog out again. On  _ concrete _ .” 

 

“Yeah,” Steve sighs, rolling his neck until it cracks. He stands up. “I’ll come with you.”

 

“Lars!” Billy calls out to the house, grabbing his leash off of the kitchen counter. No dog in sight. “Lars, time for a walk, boy!” he calls again. Nothing. Steve’s eyebrows furrow. 

 

“Where’s the dog?” he asks, and Billy shrugs. 

 

They begin wandering around the house, splitting up to search for the dog in every nook and cranny. Steve is about to check his parent’s bedroom when Billy calls out from the bathroom. “He’s in here, Steve!” 

 

Steve is gobsmacked by what he sees. Lars is laying in the tub on his side, giant white body filling the entire thing. He looks up at the faucet and howls. “What do you want, boy?” Billy asks.

 

Lars turns his head to Billy and howls again. “Don’t you want to go outside?” Steve expects Lars to jump out instantly, grab onto the leash and drag them both outside. Instead, he continues to lay in the tub, howling at the faucet. 

 

“Do you…” Billy furrows his eyebrows. “Do you want me to turn the water back on?”

 

Lars howls directly at Billy, raising in pitch. Billy scoffs indignantly and shakes his head. “No, boy. You already got a bath today. No more bath time. Walk time.” 

 

_ Awoo _ , Lars says. Billy squints. “Don’t you take that tone with me.” 

 

Steve’s eyebrows go up to his forehead as he stands in the doorway of the bathroom, watching possibly the strangest interaction he’s ever seen between these two unfold. And that’s really saying something. 

 

Lars twists his body in the tub, coiling around and continuing to howl. “Lars, enough! Time for a walk!”

 

Lars throws his head back and howls so loud that Steve has to cover his ears. Billy stands unaffected. “I said no more bath time! You’re going to hop out and make a big fucking mess! Now let's go, shithead!”

 

The dog goes absolutely nuts, howling over and over and over again, throwing what Steve can only describe as a temper tantrum in the bathtub. “Jesus fucking  _ Christ _ ,” Billy grumbles, rubbing his face with his hands. “I need to be about 10 times drunker for this, Lars. Enough. Let’s go.” 

 

The howling continues. “Okay, fine!” Billy contests, throwing his arms up. “Steve, close the door.”

 

Steve just stands there, confused. “Uh, why?”

 

“Because we are giving the dog another bath, apparently.”

 

“We are not giving the dog another bath,” Steve crosses his arms and puts on his best mom voice. “We literally just cleaned the entire house. I’m not doing it again.”

 

“Well then I guess our dog lives in the bathroom, now,” Billy says wildly, flailing his arms around. “Because it doesn’t seem like he’s going to listen to me anytime soon!” Lars lets out a small, high pitched whine. 

 

Steve deadpans, “Lars, if you get out I will give you pizza after your walk.” Lars’ head shoots up at the word pizza and he immediately hops out of the bathtub, tail wagging as he runs downstairs.

 

Billy’s jaw hangs open. 


End file.
